Other people are open about their anxiety issues and make me feel less alone. Every time I talk to someone out in the real world about it they tell me to “Just focus on something else” “It’s not that bad just calm down” “Why do you get so worked up? just take a few deep breathes”. Like you don’t understand, I physically can’t. My heart starts racing for no reason and I think of every scenario going horribly horribly wrong and I can’t get it out of my mind that people don’t want me around…
Like at my new job I’m really quiet so in my head I’m like “Stop being quiet they’re going to think you’re rude or bitchy, smile be nice, no not like that now they probably think you’re weird, why the frick can’t I be normal”
Take me to a field of flowers, sunflowers.
That are capable of doing fantastic things like creating music and art and sew words together in artful ways. Just because some humans are shitty does not mean all people are. You don’t hate humanity you hate shitty people.